the Journal of life!

Motivated!

2011-02-11T18:59:00.001+08:00

"I believe you can get either band 4 or band 5 one.

Just do more"

frankly speaking,

i was so motivated at that time when i heard this.

and to tell the truth well.

this sentence can do motivate more than those 100 sentences motivational speaking in school.

this afternoon i went for my econs tuition in my old tuition centre.

and i wanted to meet my both dear tutor (science and english tutor for my spm previously.) .

though you will say i am naive that i pay them thats why they would act so nice.

but it is wrong in this.

not everything money can buy and function.

well.

its proven.

just now i only get to meet english tutor ,as i seen him resting in a room.

i went in and have a small chat with him.

Me:hellloooo!!:)

He : hey.how are you?

Me: sigh

He: Why? Is it cause you need to study again?

Me: Sigh. yalo. my muet were like ... *speechless*

He:Oh muet.Just do more exercise .Too bad you din come for my short course last year.

I got tell them how to do.

Me:sigh.Actually i knew,but i need to work.So.That;s why..

He:Oh,you dont worry.i think you can get band 4- band 5.

Me:But my sentence structure.You know...?

He:Oh.just do more exercise.

Me:You now still have Muet classes?

He:

Oh last year.You write your name to the counter but i will see if i can chip in time or not.

Me:But now i still got time to brush up my muet?Caused now it;s like already few weeks.

He:well.Just do more exercise la most importantly.:)

i am seriously glad that he will give that respond.

LOL

He is one of the great fluent with british accent fellow teacher i had seen.

the great teacher.

not even comparing this to my smi muet teacher.

he is the great one!

cheers!

i really feel so motivated now.

Life still goes on. :)

2011-02-07T14:18:00.001+08:00

oh heyyy.

well.

life still goes on. :)

all i can do is to pray and hope and be the backup crew?

well.

i wasnt emo.

but yet i can still use my both EQs and IQs when problem arises.

i dont really get that emotional like breakdown or sort.

but when i say i am.meant i am already have it beyond my limits.

well.

though all this.i still need to plan everything wisely.

the time.

and ensure myself not that exhausted.

really a big thanks to everybody that had comforted me.

it takes me the lots of courage to get things done.

really.

i thought i wanted to update on the reunion dinner.

but i dont really have that mood now.

yea.

some other time i guessed.

have a nice day everybody!

im so glad i wasnt the same group with the person i dont like-monitor!

not till like hate but i dont like the way she betray people when others treats her so good.

ohhh cheeersss not the same group!!~~ :)

The me. :)

2011-01-30T12:44:00.002+08:00

Heloooo!!~~

despite of yesterday being moody caused of some unwanted annoying person ask me to shut up.

well.

so yea.

im NOT blogging on this.

as i told my friend saying that if i do the way like him.

me and him are like no difference.

same category person.

i doesnt want to be "yat pun kin sik" with him.:)

so well.

i decided to ignore.

despite i know i wasnt at fault oh well.

just let it be.

well.

im longing for the moo's family reunion dinner.

my bro the one organising it.

not falling on the 30th chinese calendar caused that day supposed reunion day for every families.

but on 29th.

caused on 30th me and my bro gonna go fo tang and stay there overnight.counting down cny.

for the sake of our parents.

so that they will get the blessing throughout the year

as they already been aging.

yeah.despite my many homework.i will still go there.

wohooo!!~my sister coming back tommorrow lu!!

wooolaaa!!!~

my both sister(1st and the 3rd sis).

i've been ages din see her since 2 weeks.

she's coming back from negeri sembilan.hope both of them have a safe drive.:)

you might perhaps been thinking that.everytime i talk on my family you all will think they have a very high demands and expectations towards me.

well,all i could say is.i will only know if they dont push me.

today will never have the me.

the real me.

maturity level.

instead.

i still have so many things to learn from my sister and brother though sometimes i may be depressed by their sudden harshness and temper.

but who will have without any temper?

them their temper will nurture me into a better person of high in tolerating-tolerance value

and be patient.

they let me to fall and make me to climb back to myself.

ignores me so that i will get to solve my own problems.

which is face the fact and solve it.

tell you what .

i just dont know why.

i am already reached my maturity level beyond my age should.

caused i often experience stuff unlike my peers do.

like a few step more faster.LOL

as my once my colleaque said.you act and behave more than a 18 years people will do.

LOL

i also remember.there's the acquaintance i talk to telling me i better to be a phsycologist than anything else.:D

i knew how to do self motivate but i was often make more to be a listener.LOL

well.this qualities are all gifted by god.

without all this nurturing i bet.

i will never come to this stage.cheers!

CNY MOODIES!~

2011-01-28T14:46:00.000+08:00

since chinese new year season-red colour.i will have my font colour to be ReD!~

I'm already on school holidays now.

muahahahhaha!!~~

wohoooo.

this is officially the last day of schooling today.

my last day of schooling.

LOL

though as i mentioned in my previous post that i would not be having my holidays.

which meant im gonna work harder this hols.especially my maths.

well.

im not visiting my aunts those in penang.

not following my family them going there.

though in this festive season.i will only gonna to celebrate it with books.

but still got cny feel.

know what i gonna do?

LOOL

im gonna do on my cny songs.:DDDD

when people heard that im not having holidays.they sound like.she so pity ah.

but i think i should cope as much as possible.

even muet test only less than 8 weeks from now.

i couldnt afford more time to lose.

staying at home wasnt a bad decision anw.i get to be alone and

do things peacefully & not having tv on 24 hrs.:D

hehe.

this morning in school i approached my muet teacher.

and asked her how to improve my eng more.

she said speak proper eng.

LOL

really served me right caused i kept on short-cutting my words.LOL

now i need to make my own speech clearer.

LOL

wohhoooo!!!!

chinese new year coming !!wohhlaa.

and most important i can be a pig!!!!!

wooooooooooooohhhhoooooooooooo!!!!~~~

2011-01-26T18:33:00.000+08:00

Im exhausted.

really.

i think this is my life that i have never have that extreme.

i stretch myself to maximum.

since monday.

i've been stretching for 3 days continuously non stop.

and now im dead tired.

i have been working going out till late at night for ttn or coming back home late.

and that worsen condition when i have extreme many homework to do.

especially maths.

its not the problem hard.

but its the teacher kept on reminding us to passup the next day.

everyday teach new things and she expected us to passup the following morning.

sigh.

those question she chose for us too not that easy.

its a complicated one.i think i need 1 hour to figure out for those really hard one.

sigh.

dead tired.later gonna start giving other ttn.

==============

its okay .

yokemei.

i knew you can withstand everything.

everything.

the elastic of myself.

i doesnt guarantee all i would be successful.

but at least i have given my best.

i have no guilty.

i had given the very best of myself.

yea.

i just dont like my monitor that always give out others.

for short.

she will do anything just get rid of herself to bear or take up any blame or scolding from teacher.

me and my other asst monitor already kena alot loor.

aihh.

every time i treat her good but she aint giving a damn also.

i treat her good as in i think there would some spaces for her to do good.

but ended up.

she is still the same.

backstabbing and front stabbing.

it goes like this.

during our muet class.

teacher made us to think on some vocab words.

and some ended up bursting into laughter when we come across some funny words being said by classmates.

well.for me this is natural phenomenon.

later.

a teacher(karu) come in to our class after our muet teacher had gone.

he scolded us by saying that we need to respect others class who is in p& p

and we can joke but dont like until others was been affected.

caused we are being noisy during muet and he is teaching the class nextdoor.the noised could be banging.

and he ady like so dark(an indian) and somemore smoke face with steaming hot.

he gonna burst any time and he looks like black charcoal.

angry.

well.

i admit that my voice really beyond limits.

but hey.

its not only me is only being noisy.

all are as well.

well.

after scolding from karu.

then monitor(neoh) come up.

and she told my class teacher when my class teacher asked us whether we are noisy onot as no teachers in.

and she straight away without hesitating a second.

shoot my name up.

well.

there goes her phrase.

*its becaused moo's voice and laughter so loud that nextdoor also can hear.then thats why karu scolded just now.the nextdoor ppl recognised her voice*

she repeated it twice. i rmb.

it was as if i was the only one laughing.

being noisy she isnt.

as if she didnt laugh.

and she threw all the blame on me.

and i was like wtf.

well.

of course i shudup.i dont know what to say.caused maybe they told her that.

and

after that school dismissal.i met with some of my friends nextdoor.

and we dont know how we started conversation.

then i asked :

did you heard my voice just now? only my voice or isit me the loudest?

then she said.:

you are not the only one that make noise.

i heard the whole class making noise with clapping somemore.

i went on like wtf

i was being blamed.

my monitor accused me and frame me up.

ass her.

and before this incident i heard she speak with the monitor next door.

the nextdoor monitor asked.:we heard some one laughing so excited in your class.

and my monitor:straightaway said:

"its her voice.she is very loud one.at downstairs you can hear her voice to upstairs.

and i was like.

whats her problem?

i was been given out like that.

well.

she was the one given out my name and she accused me that nextdoor recognised my voice.

shit.

she dont deserved be a leaders.not even monitors,

when she dont even know what is monitor meant.

oh well.i did not elect her.

she volunteer herself.

i never vote her.

i will keep myself promised.if she kept doing this again.

i will never give her face again.

i will straight shoot and be mean.

caused this is not the first time things happened like this.

she doesnt know how to appreciate people treat her good.

2011-01-22T16:20:00.002+08:00

though this year chinese new year is coming.

but i just dont have the mood you know.

dont have the mood to rest caused i knew i had better things to be done.

according to my priority.

no matter what was the cost i want to cope back my studies.

by hook or by crook i want to get all firm at the end of my fingertips.

i just couldnt spared more another second to be wasted.

though i still online now.

but i really need a break especially when i was whole day working on no ending maths workings exercises.

sound so pathetic.

but this is the fact.

nobody could changed the fact which it remained to be as fact.

the fact hoping that econs teacher would get off.still remained as hope.

hopeless fact.

i couldnt changed the fact i still dislike this school.

not caused my previous school are better than this.

but the human factor there really driving me mad.

as in teacher and student.

they can just do whatever they like without giving any damned to student's welfare.

sounds so bad.

well.this is the fact.

i can tell you straight to this face:

if this school the teachers lead by example and be more reasonable.

perhaps i will definitely change my perceptions.

oh well oh.

the fact remains the fact.

i'm so sad seeing this school dont know the really meaning of sports day.

its seem that the school aint giving any weightage to sports.

i thought there would be many many house practice.

but so sad hearing only got 3 sports practice.

and it sounds so taking things for granted.

i havent mentioned on them electing those committees based on how high your post in prefects or librarians.

not everybody could be active in sports.

and them had their own teachers meetings and they themselves elect out.

then when house meeting time only announce this 3 person are holding the head of house.

bla bla bla.

in my point of view.

they really should not elect based on their own points.

thats why i said.teachers possesed great authorities and tend to misused them.

i was very surprised when they announced who will be the president bla bla bla.

meant we only follow.

those who more deserved to get the heads are like iceman,jo ann.

they didnt get it.

whereas.

those already got "too many post" get it.

the fact it is.

the fact is smi is degrading.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

and my fact was:

i am not having my holidays during chinese new year.as

my maths teacher said.

stpm only come once.

chinese new year come every year.LOOL

i need to scrifice things in order to get things done.:D

faking blood.:D

2011-01-19T19:02:00.001+08:00

hulaaaaa!!!

awesome day!!

today i was as being discussed.

i held the first meeting demonstrating how to do blood.

how to do fake blood.

it started well but ended kind in a mess when i ter-spilled the blood at the floor.

the ajks was forced to stay to help me to clean up the mess along.

LOL

and chee gen from science stream kept saying dont dirty his pants with the colouring but i ended

it with spilling it to his pants.

really i dont want this to happen.

LOL

on my way back to the parking places time.i come across with my classmates and my muet teacher.

i trick them and showed them saying that my skin was peeled of .

caused i did that blood exactly the real blood.

and someore when i pour the blood into my hand,i get those pattern.

and really like those hand gets burning and was forced to peeled of the dead skins.

awsome.

and only i know that phang yee lim(my classmates) scared wo.

he screamed.LOOOOL

and when my muet teacher heard all these noise come and find out.

and i shown her.

she was frightened ,screamed and look like wanna cry .LOOOOL

its meant my blood are so successful!LOOOL.ah its fake blood.

then i scared mabel and the rest.

seems some are admiring on how i did that.LOL

and my members seems to be so enjoying it too.

LOOOL

so funny seeing them trying to mix the blood.

LOOL

then just now only i received a call from my friend who is my so called student-im tutoring him bm.

he, asking me whether i did send my chinese new year card.

then i told him i did sent le.

and asking me why .caused nowadays people love to send it through emails and sort.

then i said its more like got cny feel rather than using comp gea ma.

then after that only i know he is interviewing me.

he is a reporter in newspaper oriental daily.

LOL

and asked me for my name.

according to him he is gonna publish me out.LOOL

i was damned surprised.

he said when it was published i will be given the notice.LOL

it seems like a normal conversation.

good things come twice today.

i hope the others also getting this luck too.

hope they get the warmth from too.:DDD

tomorrow school holiday!yeah!~
i get time to rest.
so exhausted with my tight schedule.LOL

2011-01-16T08:21:00.000+08:00

i dont know why often now i will get scared.

get tensed up.

mostly also caused of study.

and the driving test.

yesterday,i get contacted with a few of my friends.

telling them i got phobias.

after failing the first test were ady like hell for me.

now gonna wait for retaking them.

heart kind of scared.

not caused i had not prepared.

but the feeling uncertainty made me felt so insecure.

i was afraid what if i failed this time.?

then my mom gonna to burn all her money that she given me for this test.

but due to i no longer can meet their expectations and i get tensed up plus frustrated when i doesnt meet their expectations really driving me mad.

well.

after all the debating and talking with friends.

i could finally release it.

but i just cant guaranteed whether i will feel panic that day.

sigh.

i wanna change my mindset!!!

i scared i got an old car again and everything gone.

aiya.

dont care la.

think so much also no use.

my brain gonna boom up to certain level guess.

LOL

my teacher once said if our brain vibrate

at certain level and it exceeded the usual vibrations,

if our nerve breakdown,then i would probably have mentally problem.

then you all would be seeing me in tanjung rambutan ady.

LOL

its beyond my control.

i just need to say i will pass with confidence.

i know i will!cheers!!~~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YI MEI!~~

Great teachers.

2011-01-15T09:24:00.001+08:00

hulaaaa!!!

an updates.

2 weeks already past.

and there would be more test and exam coming.

so stress.

sigh.

i am only scaring i fainted before the real test coming.

joking ni la.

i am so elastic.

impossible i will faint.

i heard from my juniors stating that my secondary school teachers ,

dedicated ones are slowly being transfered to others school.

my science teacher too being transfered.

if not becaused of her i guessed i would never get an A+ for my spm result.

so glad i know her.

yesterday i get contacted with her again through facebook-ing

and i did expressed my thank to her.

she had been transfered to smk pusing,batu gajah.

she said,

"the student there really made me pusing.i teach science in eng.but i now i need to teach malay for malay and indian student,mandarin for chinese student.student there can't speak malay nor english.

i pengsan loor i feel hard to talk mandarin again after 5 years in convent."

i said:"LOL.you wont pengsan one.you can teach us you can definitely teach the others"

she said:"ya lo,that's my purpose to be there ma"

when i seen this.i really felt so touch.

this is what we called a dedicated teachers.

they will burn themselves for others sake.

she really cares on student.

not to mentioning my others addmaths teachers.maths teachers.bm teachers.

i was sad seeing them leaving convent.

the juniors definitely had missed out this great teachers.

and all this teachers already had assist me and guide me through my most difficult years.

and most of all me when skipping lessons out there handling co-co stuffs.

but them without any grunts.they will be the first one to stand out to help me without any doubts.

i am so grateful!

i think this :

~teachers are like burning candles,burning themselves to light up for others~

really suits them well!

i will take them for my example for future practices.!:D

cheers!

ah yess.

not to mention i heard a new principal coming in too.

the previous principal_pn loh weiseng already transfered to SMK Menglembu.

so sad too.

so sad seeing so unlucky of that school get that principal.

she is gonna ruined everything in school.

convent had nearly let her ruined.

lucky us all student leaders still withstand it.

not letting her to ruined the traditions we had in our previous years.LOL

sad lor.

i thought of going back to visit them.

the teachers.

but one by one gone off like that.

so disheartening.

sad.....

2011-01-12T14:54:00.000+08:00

i was so glad that i get to know friends from tao's religious practice.

well.

it is a glad to know them.

at least i still can have my breath on seeing them too valued friendship.

whenever i see my schoolmates/classmates,

i was trying to mix with them.

regardless they are from mc or not.

not being biased or sort.

just that i can't help myself but feeling upset towards the others.

neither they are merely acquaintances or not.

well.

i was kind of upset by the way they talked at times.

true saying that which human wont make mistakes.

but you could definitely minimise your wrong doings.

i tried before.

i guessed.

firstly,the very first you offended people through your mouth.

the way you speak.

so disheartens.

anw.

its nothing to do with me.

well,

just kinda sad that human could turn into this level.

and really feared me off.

Is this earth really dont have good people anymore?

decent anymore?

naive anymore?

so sad seeing every of naive people turning to so cunning.

sigh.

how dangerous is today's society characteristic.

sigh..

Because you and me. :)

2011-01-10T14:45:00.000+08:00

currently i am listening.

"becaused of you"

tao's mandarin song.

i was really touched when the lyrics

goes like this "because of you and because of me."

"the world are full of gan dong(touched feelings)."

this reflects to myself that how much i appreciate whatever i own and i possess now.

all i have.

everythings.

i dont know.

i just dont know.

at my growing process,really got plenty people helped me.

guide me.

cares on me.

either they have stepped in my life.

or just merely lefted a foot in.

because of them.

because of you and me existence.

we are on another step in creating memories.

because of you and me.

because so many have helped me along the way.

my aim too had went along.

to help people.

help them my heart.

give them warmth.

let them know the world still got love.

its not the end of the world as long as sun are rising.

we would seen rainbow after the rain.

i remember a senior that inspired me once i joined this activity.

she write me a farewell message for the 2010 year's closing ceremony.

she said i love to help people.

well.

me too ain't realising it ,

i am slowly walking to the pathway of helping others in need.

becaused i was too being helped.

felt the warmth.

so yeah.!!!

i will.

help them in need!

i want to spread this whole world.

cause i want everyone to feel the warmth

the warmth truly from heart.

then ,

no more social ills.

no more friends betrayal.

no more backstabbers.

how good this earth to be live in.

becaused of you and me.

2011-01-08T11:22:00.000+08:00

i guessed i have to better update something.

well.

here goes another one week after schooling and i yet never expect it to be so fast ,quickly pass the time.

oh gosh.

i have been skipping for 2 days.

one is caused of driving test.

and another where i fall sick.

tomorrow is dao yi ban.

the closing last class for 2010 as in following chinese lunar calendar.

=)weee.

caused i've been seriously looking forward for this.

becaused i really wanted to join those youth activities .

anw.

its fun that i get to know them,who is older or younger than me.

well.

beside.it do let me to reflect upon myself

how could i wish i was earlier on brought in to join this youth activities.

though i dont know how to read mandarin and write chinese,may be kind of burden to me.

but i dont mind.

May everyone have a blessed day!

you're beautiful korean drama! (MUST WATCH)

2010-12-31T12:55:00.000+08:00

must watch this drama!

fully with sense of humour and romance!

she's holding a rabbit with pig nose.:DD

The coming year!2011!!

2010-12-31T11:12:00.001+08:00

looking back this 2010 year like have been so many thing happened!

and i think i did so many thing this year.

did things until i was already numb.

kept on working until i am speechless.

kept studying until my head gonna boom at any time.

and most importantly kept on getting scolding from the teacher.

giving me the torment.

but alas its end.

hmmm.

as what others did.after spm i too worked.

initially working as cashier.then latter the manager offered me along be sales assistant.

which is cashier cum s.a

but my salary never raised loo.

the same.

like what others said.when you are a newcomer often let others do bully.

yalo.i did.

and i told myself.

this is da working world.

i will need to bear with it for future benefits.

in here i was so lucky as i was the youngest.

as in age.but i got compliment such as.

"you are young.

but you can behave much more than a 17 years old kid could."

"I admire you for your attitude that you will admit your mistakes and apologize"

"you are very hardworking"

and even the managers did praised me in front of other colleaque.

this are some of the compliments.

but i was only so dissapointed when i wasnt the one getting the best staff.

well.

caused i told the manager that i will be leaving for pursuing further studies.

many of those high ranking post did persuade me to stay.

but i was glad i was so firm with my decision.

then i work until the very last day before school reopen.

on the 9th of may if not wrong.

caused i rmb 10th may is school reopen.

anw.

with those orientation been given .

i already get to judge that this school is not really that good.

the teacher say different things and they do different things.

sad to tell that a great school turn to be like this.

i think i earlier on i did admire this school becaused it is an eng school.

nearly same with mc.

and the leader are so great from there.

but when i came to this school.

even the teacher teach.

you have to do this to get how many how many coco points..

do that to get how many coco points.

and this will only lead the student want to get coco points more that participation.

i remember thef6 moderator ask during orientation stating that nowadays student join is to get coco points.

and i think if it wasnt the teacher that kept on asking us to join just solely to get the marks.

join la you wil get marks.

then this would indulge a new environment.

"ppl join is to get coco marks not to really heve the spirit to join."

then this would not happen.

i know smi teacher are so realistik.take my class teacher as an example.

she,once that day the dont know what school function.the big vip came to visit our school.

and she said" i only saw that 2 boys sit there the whole day only .you all already dissapear by the end of the day.so i will only nominate that 2 boys to get coco marks.

i wont nominate you all as you all dissapear."

1)its already very wrong to take up pp time.

2)at least they come right?need so realistic?count to every single penny?

i was so lucky i was absent that day.

so no need waste my time for this.

if they are so realistic.count to every single penny.

than they shall as well.

count in the coco marks for ajk class and those whole ajk post in librarian.

we did things why we didnt get marks??

want to count so much la.

i was nearly going to say wtf!

when i hold those like ajk post in librarian but didnt get marks.

my marks with those didnt hold any post the same one okay.

so frustrating when i get to know this.

even back to mc years.

those ajk class at least in our leaving certs would state you hold what post what post.

but now?

we was like been ignore even we did things,

realistic right this school?

i think i can give you reason why i hate this school.

1)too much authorities on teachers

2)teacher tend to misuse powers they have.

3)teachers are so bad.never did ever try to be in our shoes

4)art stream and science streams are not harmoniously together

5)teacher discriminates art streamers.

6)building up 5 star toilet with a guard outside.

7)building up a food court canteen and making it so jammed when reccess time.

8)smi dont have a place where student that can study comfortably

such as sudut bacaan

9)the basket ball court dont have shade and goes as well as the student parking lot.

10)this school never think of solution but always think of punishments and calling parents

hate this school.

but still i still need to complete it.

aihh.

anw.

i hope the very next year!2011!!

all my things would go on smoothly!

CHEERSSS!!~~~

2010-12-28T09:09:00.000+08:00

All i wish for this new year is the whole family member get to have a reunion meal together.

it's so upset of seeing this family slowly shatter into pieces.

sigh.

i want to eat

团圆饭...Happy chinese New Year!!My time is always way faster than anyone.:):)

2010-12-25T12:20:00.001+08:00

wohooooooooooo!!!!!!!

i passed my pre-driving test!!

wohoooooooooooo!!

i gotta feeling!!

so scary just now when going up the hills.

and the unfortunate of me,

i got a not very good car.

gosh.

but i was so lucky get to stop on the yellow line.

and the parking too.

but only the the driving road side got problem only.

hard to control the speed and i dont know why my leg dont obey to me.

LOL

so,yesss!

its fun driving.

wohooooooooowoooooooooohooooWWW!!!

TODAY'S CHRISTMAS AH!!:

WOOHOO!!!

SO SAD YESTERDAY NIGHT THOUGHT OF WANTED TO RELOAD AND AND TEXT ALL OF MY FRIENDS WISHING THEM MERRY CHRISTMAS.

BUT DIDNT GET TO RELOAD!

thanks for your all christmas wishes ya!

hehe.

surprised me that neoh even text me.

my class monitor.

thought of she would never text me geh.

but see see.

LOL

i was actually going to sleep ady nearing to 12 midnight.

see see.

my phone kept coming in with messages with the beep tone.

so sorry i was forced to put it into silent mode.cx i want to wake up at 6 am tmr for the driving test!

sorry!

we will see it during new year time!!:):):)

wooohoooWooo!!!!!

MERRRRRRYYYYYYY CHRIIISSSTMASSSS!!!~~

still i am staying at home to truly enjoy this christmas heartily!!!!

heheehehehehe!!!!!

i gootttaaa feeling!!

that tonight gonna be a good good night!!

woooohooo!!:)

i just dont know why i am so happy!

hehe.

perhaps seeing everybody happy i am happy?

LOL

smile! . laugh!.

I dropped down to tears again.

2010-12-21T18:43:00.003+08:00

我再一次为这个家下降眼泪乐

为什么？
为什么？为什么？
为什么当我每次一样努力工作，我可以改善这种家庭关系，但它总是结束样子呢？

为什么我每次做的事，也挨骂无论是我的错与否。
为什么这样？为什么这样？
为什么每次我也将让别人对我发脾气？但它不是我的错。
每次都希望为自己的这个家，但所有的事情我回来，牺牲的东西，是误会和误解，只有责骂。
为什么这样？
。为这个家破坏了。我真的觉得想放弃的时候。
我该怎么办呢？这一刻。

办呢？怎么我辛辛苦苦只是希望它会改变对自己家庭的看法。可是现在呢？为什么我会这样的对待。其他人总是说，在家庭中最年轻的永远是爱。越来越受到重视。但为什么我没有感觉到任何它勒？
我该怎么办呢？我和我家人的关系越来越差。也许因为我是英国人，他们是中国的教育和教育。只有我是唯一一个是英语教育，他们不相信我在我所做的一切。我该怎么办呢？

happpieeeeeeee!!!!

2010-12-20T11:31:00.005+08:00

i am happy!

happy happy.

yesterday i went to temple thinking of joing the lessons being held in temple.

but instead i was being held by a senior to help.

so yeah.

this started all.

i helped happily.
and end it happily.
i was even more happy when there's this senior purposely come near me to expressed his
thankfulness in me.
glad.happy.grateful.
the feeling is like so undescribelabel

get to help others is my pleasures.

i get to know so many people in there.

once again meeting individuals with great personality and hospitality value.

we helped each other without any conditions just to promote the tao cultivations.

iam happyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!

happpppppiiiiiiieeeee!!!

i am only hoping my mom that she wont stop me from going caused i having stpm test next year.

sigh.

how i wish i could start joining this earlier on.

:)
today is the 15th chinese lunar calendar!
go again!
i gotta feelings!
:)

well.
for me.
going to temple aint becaused it was a culture in my family .
i goes temple is to nurture my temper.
nurture and arrange myself into a better person , though i got back those comment are mostly the good ones.
still i still do want to upgrade myself in mentally.
the hospitality value and morality value in myself.
this is not self-obsessed but merely only self-reflections.
i do not want to waste my whole life into unnecessary things.
i do not let it to be wasted like that.
time flies very fast.
i must utilised this every second that i have now.
:)
cheers!
==============++++++++++++===========

i am so lucky!

2010-12-18T13:31:00.000+08:00

i feel so thankful right at this very moment,

in this whole growing process.

i am so glad ,i got plenty of seniors and those experienced ones that guide me.

not to mentioned my childhood friends& friends too.

i am always thankful caused if you all never exist i guess i would never come to this maturity enough.

well.

it is really so touching the moment i ask for help they would be there to help me.

be there to tell me not to give up.

i am so glad there are so many the ones that help me out in my journey to life.

me either dont know why when i was small never been rejected by anybody

instead

i was like almost been welcome in most of the places i went.

i treasures it.

i was really thankful that i am so lucky to have and meeting those with great personality

no matter in hospitality value

or morality value.

nor those strong characters.

i am more glad that they are wiling to lend me hand when i am in difficulties.

them all with their warm heart and the so -friendly attitudes made me so touched emotionally

i really thank them.

caused none of them that i meet would never turn me down.

yesterday a junior text me the answer.

she said i was like a sister who always willingly to lend hand to her in most of her time.

and glad be my friends.

then i replied

"perhaps your this sister too been getting and receiving help and every assistance from seniors and so now i was also giving my every assistance to her.:)"

no them no the me now.

*may they be blessed everyday!*

mentally stable.

2010-12-17T10:45:00.000+08:00

wohoooo!!!

yokemei sot joorrr!!

LOOL

hmmm.

i uploaded 2 new songs!

its singing on life on what my tao holy teacher hope us to be.

to admit this.

since in this year i am getting more and more tensed up.

it went worst after i joined my f6.

but

after i joined the class organised by the temple.

the 'dao yi ban'

me mentally getting more stabilize already.

as in more peaceful and calm.

i am thankful!

at times when you dont have any other choice you were force to be mentally breakdown,

i have that before.

i am thankful my mind now were more focused.

mentally more stable.

thank god!

im gonna proceed to my next aim soon.

cheers.

smillleee!:)

god only help those who help themself

2010-12-14T10:02:00.000+08:00

MY 10 WISHES IN 2011!!!!!

-TO GET 4A'S OR 3A'S IN STPM.

-TO GET TO CONTROL MY UNCONSISTEN TEMPER

-TO DO GOOD THINGS

-TO SPREAD GOOD THOUGHT

-TO SPEAK GOOD THINGS/ NUTRITIONOUS THINGS.

-NOT TO TALK BACK ON MY MOM

-TOLERATE THE SOCIETY

-BE PATIENT

-BE IGNORANCE

-CUT OFF MY ADDICTION TOWARDS ENTERTAINTMENT.

--------------------------------------------

OF course i hope i do get to grant all my wish.

hope it went smoothly for me to realised it.

god only help those woho help themself!

smillleeee!

neutral!

2010-12-12T16:38:00.000+08:00

feeling now at this second.

very moment

at this min.

i feels nothing.

nothing besides the heat that is strongly burning me with my unconsisten temper.

hmm.

the hols is near to an end,

yet i hasnt touched any of the homework yet.

nvm.

i will get to finished them.

hmm.

this year is nearing to the end.

i'm so glad.

this year had been a bad one after i had the worst in my f2 life.

this is worst than that year.

this year bad things happened more than a good one

tragic -death is always occuring this year i just dont know why.

my surrounding people are all involved not to say my relatives also involved.

in this year ,

in my family 2 died.

one mother side.

one father side.

so sudden.

this year i lost 2 relatives member.

then my mom got burned by a pot of boiling hot water splashed on her body by unwanted accident.

lucky that it was only first degree burns.

if not..

and all my things arent going smoothly for me.

i am just hoping a better year.

and i would definitely get my mood to be control.

i dont want to simply get my emotions run wild.

like those creatures has not any sense.

next year is a good year as what those zodiac -predictors predicts.

hope as it is to be.

iam here welcoming you 2011!!!

hehe

with bright colours of fireworks

a bright year ahead!

smile as you can smile.laugh as long as you can laugh.
my

DREAM YEAR

I HOPE TO GET A RIDE HERE!

WELCOMMMMEEE!!!!!!

kuan shu (forgiveness)- shen mu yu tong!

2010-12-09T16:22:00.001+08:00

MIAN DUI MIAN ZUO ZHE YAN SHEN BU XIE YI GU
JI CHU DE XIAO RONG KAN QI LAI HAO TU WU
WO ZOU CUO YI BU, ZHUI RU WAN ZHANG SHEN GU

HAI SHI HUI XIANG QI NI DE HUANG TANG HU TU
ZHEN GANG CI ZAI XIN SHANG XIE LIU YI RU ZHU
BEI PAN LE XING FU, NA AI DANG DU ZHU

CENG BA GAN QING FANG ZHU, HE SHI NENG JIE SHU
YU DAO NI WO XIANG TING ZHI YOU MU, RANG AI GUI ZHEN FAN PU
PIAO BO HUI LUO MU, CHENG NUO SHUO DE NA MA MING XIN KE GU

NI DE YAN LEI RANG WO WU ZHU, NI DONG BU DONG WO WEI AI REN RU
NU LI XUE XI KUAN SHU, YUAN LIANG NA CUO WU
BU GAN WO MEN DE AI SI ZAI BAN TU

TING JIAN NI DE XIN HAI ZAI KU, WEI WANG BU JI TONG MAN YAN SU DU
XI WANG NI NENG JUE WU, WO ZHEN DE LING WU
SHANG KOU MAN MAN YU HE, ZAI BEI AI BAO FU

HAI SHI HUI XIANG QI NI DE HUANG TANG HU TU
ZHEN GANG CI ZAI XIN SHANG XIE LIU YI RU ZHU
BEI PAN LE XING FU, NA AI DANG DU ZHU

CENG BA GAN QING FANG ZHU, HE SHI NENG JIE SHU
YU DAO NI WO XIANG TING ZHI YOU MU, RANG AI GUI ZHEN FAN PU
PIAO BO HUI LUO MU, CHENG NUO SHUO DE NA MA MING XIN KE GU

NI DE YAN LEI RANG WO WU ZHU, NI DONG BU DONG WO WEI AI REN RU
NU LI XUE XI KUAN SHU, YUAN LIANG NA CUO WU
BU GAN WO MEN DE AI SI ZAI BAN TU

TING JIAN NI DE XIN HAI ZAI KU, WEI WANG BU JI TONG MAN YAN SU DU
XI WANG NI NENG JUE WU, WO ZHEN DE LING WU
SHANG KOU MAN MAN YU HE, ZAI BEI AI BAO FU

NI DE YAN LEI RANG WO WU ZHU, NI DONG BU DONG WO WEI AI REN RU
NU LI XUE XI KUAN SHU, YUAN LIANG NA CUO WU
BU GAN WO MEN DE AI SI ZAI BAN TU

TING JIAN NI DE XIN HAI ZAI KU, WEI WANG BU JI TONG MAN YAN SU DU
XI WANG NI NENG JUE WU, WO ZHEN DE LING WU
SHANG KOU MAN MAN YU HE, ZAI BEI AI BAO FU

let's us forgive and forget.

time will heal it as long as we let go...

just let the flow to take place.:D

smile!

2010-12-06T10:32:00.001+08:00

i always start off telling myself.

a good start of tomorrow beginning.

it does work you know.

and i always had various hobbies .

hehe.

the most weird was.

i just dont know why.

hehe.

i love to text my friends at the middle of night or early of the morning.

as long as during wee hours.

as long as my friends all the moment they woke up they saw my texts.

for them.

because i hope them could wake up with a smile.

hehe.

this time.

yokemei slogan is smile.

i hope all of them woke up with a curve of smile.

everyday.

free them from their problems.

though i dont know whats their problem/trouble.

but i guessed a simple message could ease them from problems.

of finding their ways out.

i hope to made this earth a better place to be lived in.

if everyone really concerned on everybody.

then this world definitely a better place to be lived in.

dont say no caused in know nothing is impossible.

hees.

though the road maybe hard or rugged.

but i just hoped they still have the right morality nor attitudes.

the right with them.

i may not be perfect until to tell them what to do.

i will made myself as an examples first.

i will practiced first.

i would show them that the world do have love.

that our human nature that we care on each other.

caused nowadays human.

really feared me a lot.

i hope i could show them.

prove them.

influence them to be better.

smilllleeeeeee!!!~~

hehe!

always do good.
when you do good.
at times it could releases yourself from struggling to solve something.
caused good dont need to plan.
just do with a simple mind and sincerely.:)

==================++++++++++++++++++=================

2010-12-04T10:03:00.000+08:00

i bet,

i already be more mature in maturity .

i dont smile or laugh.

doesnt represent that im too pesismistic.

but yoke mei here already in a new level of maturity,

i dont know a good thing or not.

my blog had been added some effect of snows.

thanks for rebbecca.!!hehees!

now i feel more like it my blog.

then i went to read my past post.

it was a great differs on the post previously .

i meant 2 years ago.

it sounds so happy.

so peaceful.

so optimistic.

but it still me.

heheeeess!

jiaayouuu!!~

may you start and end your day with blessings!

smilllleeeee!!!~~~

hope all my dearest friends are good too.:)

=================+++++++++++==================

Life oh life.

2010-12-03T11:20:00.000+08:00

life oh life.

you made me suffer through to ensure me to understand the bitterness of every stage in life.

you ensure me to understand there's sweetness behind every bitterness.

you ensure me to understand failing and falling does not matter.

you ensure me to understand by falling down ,I must climb up to my feet myself all alone.

you ensure me to not crash my own hope into pieces.

you ensures me of not giving up.

you ensures life still have hope.

by giving life a lil hope,you have made us to be more persistence in seeking everything we want.

while on us seeking our goal,

with uncountable efforts,

if only i have turned ,slow down and stop and glance

only finally i know that i missed out most precious things.

i missed on how my mother taught me to be a human.

i missed my mother on how she fussed on .

i missed on how my mother golden age being crashed when i was born into this world.

i missed my mother on how she work to raised us 5 up all through her two hands.

i missed my mom on how she would take care of us.

i missed my mom on how she would grant us things no matter how hard she would be facing financially.

i missed all my mom hardwork.

i miss the time.

now.

in the present i'm already big.

grown up.

gone through all the challenges god had gave us.

in thoughts thinking im proud.

being an adult.

thinking im clever ,better than anybody.

better than mom.

but actually im nothing.

i am worsed comparing to animals where animal also do know how to be filial.

every time when i had an argument with mom.

i would reminiscing back the past.

then my temper would eventually diminishes.

at home,

i do always faces conflict between my family members.

perhaps,

they are from chinese educated but only i am from english educated.

communication problem.

in this family i would be scolded/insulted if i do not get good result

if i did not do house chores perfectly.

if i do not help to guard house.

gosh at times im really stressed of studies especially.

just nobody in here understand.

but thinking of the past it diminishes my anger

instead

it made me to understand them more..

dont think of anything,

i only want to be filial to my mom.

i only want to be filial to her while she still have her breath on.

at times i really felt myself over mature than a 18 years old teens would be.

my colleaque,told me.you really behave better than a 17 years old kids would be.

i think i listened to these comments multiple times already.

but my mom still think im sort of useless girl.

sigh.

i just hope i dont get exhausted so fast.

as you mature so fast and you would eventually being exhausted soon.

sigh.

The elastic side of me.

2010-12-01T13:32:00.000+08:00

I do not know whether i could encountered my next year stpm exam a not.

my pa (general knowldge) paper does not seems very good.

once szeling and i went for that teacher to ask her for opinions on whether to change or stay.

as that teacher said that.

form 6 is like that.

you must withstand every scoldings from teacher.

though the teacher may be unreasonable ,we must stand,

though that teacher is unbearable,still have to stand.

its like going against my life principle.

to stand the wrong.

but its always a good thing we learn from others wrong doing.

to nurture the patience and tolerance in us.

and most of all understanding.

i just wanna be back me .

the elastic of me ,when i remembered when i was in form 2.

i was always being scolded by a maths teacher and the discipline teacher.

my maths teacher without changing every time enter the class.

wrong or not i would be getting scolding.

at times i would be guinea pig.

ya.

then the disciplinary teacher always advise me to quit the society and koperasi

as i "over-active" in it until i neglect my studies.

but i proved her wrong when i got my result in positively.

then she shut up.

reminiscing this.

i think im sort of elastic.

can be bounced back at times.

LOL

2010-11-28T11:01:00.000+08:00

is life really that no hope.

once my seniors told me.

when you are so happy like be in love you of course would find life is full with bright stars.

full of rainbow.

the sky is blue.

but when you are down failing to be in love.

you are almost that you are dying.

all the dark sky .

the sky that as if it wanna cry.

feeling our inner part suffering.

but may i ask you a question?

is life is only love?

of course love made the whole world alive.

but is it the only one?

i realised my surrounding friends all at my age.

all are having 'love sickness'.

they cant let it go despite it they started it or not.

in dillema.

doubting on how.

or what to do.

my point of view.

whether i fall in love or not.

i would not take it so heavily.

caused teens love ,work as a stage only.

merely a stage of growing pocesses.

it not the only one in life.

please be reminded on our responsibilities of our age.

if we cant also take care of ourself emotions.

dont mention the need to take care of our parents when they are old

as your own personal problem also in a mess.

we should put it into priority which is important to come first.

does your past could help you in achieving your future target?

does your own problem could be that serious and to be top priority.

now is still not the time.

when i worked after my government test spm.

i truly encountered on them on how those who without qualifications/experience like me

being bullied or maybe proper words,

insulted.

working in a company that is more than 16 branches now which gave priority to services.

people competing each other and if ther's a need backstabbers.

no trust to be placed upon caused you may be betray the next min.

this is the atmosphere of working in a high class company.

you hould think which is important for you now.

love or studies?

choose one.

--------------------------------------------------------

btwn.

i created a websites talking on life.

at whatweseenthroughlife.webs.com.

do go register and better not put your real photo.

Love the way you lie w/ lyrics - Eminem ft. Rihanna

2010-11-24T18:44:00.000+08:00

Airplanes w/ lyrics - B.O.B ft Hayley Williams and Eminem

2010-11-24T18:38:00.000+08:00

Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna

2010-11-24T18:27:00.000+08:00

2010-11-24T18:25:00.000+08:00

(feat. Rihanna)

[Chorus - Rihanna:]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

[Eminem]
I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight
High off of love, drunk from my hate,
It's like I'm huffing pain and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me
She fucking hates me and I love it.
Wait! Where you going?
"I'm leaving you"
No you ain't. Come back we're running right back.
Here we go again
It's so insane cause when it's going good, it's going great
I'm Superman with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane
But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snapped
Who's that dude? I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

[Chorus - Rihanna:]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

[Eminem]
You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you're with 'em
You meet and neither one of you even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah, them chills you used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick of looking at 'em
You swore you'd never hit 'em; never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit them
You push pull each other's hair, scratch claw hit 'em
Throw 'em down pin 'em
So lost in the moments when you're in them
It's the rage that took over it controls you both
So they say you're best to go your separate ways
Guess if they don't know you 'cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playing over but you promised her
Next time you show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

[Chorus - Rihanna:]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

[Eminem]
Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love you're just as blinded
Baby, please come back
It wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
I told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time. There won't be no next time
I apologize even though I know its lies
I'm tired of the games I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
Im'a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
I'm just gonna

[Chorus - Rihanna:]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

2010-11-22T10:06:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i went to temple to attend the dao teens class.

i always kind of afraid to attend caused all is in chinese and and and i dont know how to read nor

write.

luckily,there's people in there is telling me.

but anyway i do und chinese:)

yeaterday learn.

"li yi lian ci"

li - manners(li.mou) the pinyin i think .LOL

yi - yi hei.friendship

lian- greed

ci - forgiveness

there were the lecturer giving us this talk.

then we have to do some heart test whether we found our own conscience and heart .

then we are to be back to our own group to share our experience and to share

which points are we been lacking of.

and the incidents and how we should change for the best.

then my turn.

i was only telling half of the story.

caused i was afraid that they would maybe tell my mom or brother on this.

so i did not tell all.

actually im hoping to find a place where there's no people know me and enjoy to the max.

i dislike caused of my mother caused of my brother only they know me.

i want they know me through their hearts.

i dont want they teach caused of my brother and mother.

i want they know me who i am.

caused now i was like giving them an impression that i am good or maybe caused my family relationship.

sigh.

temple is a perfectly fine place.

as recently i really do had alot problem.

i need a break off

i need to talk to someone.

i need some encouragement to move on in this form 6.

i need some experienced advice.

thinking of telling them but i resisted of not caused there's one lecturer in my group are

very good to my brother.

caused i just dont want there are argument or anything.

i just dont want my family splits.

i just dont want effect my family member and its consequences.

just let myself to hide my this lil problem deeep down to heart ba.

or disminishing it...

戴佩妮 - 小小

2010-11-21T21:03:00.000+08:00

老师吃不饱 / 电影《白蚂蚁》插曲

2010-11-21T21:01:00.000+08:00

电影《白蚂蚁〉预告片

2010-11-21T20:59:00.000+08:00

2010-11-18T17:52:00.000+08:00

~~A better tommorrow!~~

emotional deppression.

2010-11-16T14:08:00.000+08:00

sorry kyle,if i terlepas geram to you.LOOL

i got upset just now.

caused i took chiekuan my trustable friends le,my truly fault.

when i was out skipping the class.

for welcoming the ireland ambassador visiting librarians.

and we librarians combining with the prefects to sing school rally.

joke right.

yesterday we rehearsed and skipping 2 periods.

today skipping 3-4 periods just to welcome a 10 min visitor.

and they ni like take a look and left a signature and left.

whereas we waited for 1 1/2 hours for him.

what the.

then i waited for shingyee to back to class together.

then when went to class.

a piled of homework was on my table.

the most surprised one was.

neoh the one keep the exercise for me not chiekuan.

sadly.

and we have presentations.

~~i just dont know why smi teachers love to gave presentation assignments sssooo muccchhh!!~~

like i said.

i really treat chiekuan be friends u know.

so sad to know when i asked her that she got the group anot.then she said

"i got group ady"

i said:

"wah.geng lor u."

she said;

u mah go find group la yourself.got so many people absent.

i stopped of replying her.as she turned her head aside and study.

i was like wth.

what happen to her wo.

always gave me that face lo.

i meant yala.

i know she is very obsessed with her studies.

but hey i meant mind a bit the way you speak to ur friends la.

then i go asked shing yee.

she said she already got group.

chou yean said she earlier on put shingyee name into her group already though she was out with me.

this is what we call example of friends.

then still chiekuan like mind her own businness.

then i asked kyle.

the first replied he said was.

suet mei.shingyee.chouyean ,chiekuan they all got group anot?

then i said they already got their own group jo.

thats why i wasnt angry.

just real upset jea

and this morning she in the form of telling manner.

telling me to quickly print out the exam practice to lend her photostate .

i was like can ask in a proper manner.??

sigh.

anyway.

i was lucky that i got

only one year more left with them.

not emphasizing all.

now i only know what lailin is feeling now.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

yesterday i got to know my cousin passed away.

having heart attack when he himself dont even know he had heart attack.

sigh.

this year really a bad year.

so many people passed away.

earlier on is my father side brother passed away.then now my mother's side.

its all happened at the same year.

really..

then my mother got burned upper part body being accidently splashed by hot agar-agar.the big pot.

sigh.

this year happened just too much incidents.

my emotional were like ups and down.

perhaps.

really i am being tested by god now.

2010-11-15T18:18:00.002+08:00

Dedicated this specially for you all: sumie,limsukii,yimei's friend.

I was in my this mood.out of sudden i hope that i could spread my hearts for you all.

some are in dillemma,some are in heart broken.and i get to know that my friends' friend got cancer the same age as us.

see?

life is short.love as long as you are breathing.

in this love there's light.

meant there's till hope.

do not give up.

may this light show you the way of solutions with the comfort.

my dear friends.

the light of the way with my heart by the way of shinning you to a better road.

2010-11-12T14:46:00.000+08:00

the quotes present my mood of the day.

scruntinise deeper and you would get treasure from the words.

2010-11-09T14:03:00.001+08:00

IM badddd!!

such a a failuress!!

i failed all my subjects okay.

its like arghh!!

so dissapointed lo.

i was nearlyyy going to say :

JHF^%E@$%*)(+!+)*()&(*%%##$@@CBVKNL!#@~$%%$^*_(+_+)_$#$@#$@+@#^%*FJB_)*&(*^*&%^&%^FT&U(&^(G$%^#*)(&*&$@#!(*Y(*^%%#$%@$&(*96633221@$%&$*^!!!

know why?

caused my subjects teacher refused to let me photostate the scheme answer.

even take a look also no.

i was nearly going to say those above already.

i was already so frustrated of myself own of getting myself so low marks but the teachers dont really helped that much when they dont let me to even take a look of the answer.

i dont know where is my mistakes.

i dont know whether i did it correctly anot.

i dont know whether i followed the path correctly anot.

by asking others for answer dont really seems good .

sigh.

why dont you let me just take the answer??

as in its doesnt bring harm to anyone caused its school answer.

wthh!

although teacher do discussed the answer but hell!

as if you wont do the same mistakes next time.

.....

2010-11-06T10:09:00.001+08:00

today is the first for lunar calender.and i was supposed to eat vegie.

so i did.

it just happened to be regiinnnnee birthday!!

happee birthday girl.

may your dream come true,:)

im taking undang test today.

miserable.

ekkss ekkss.

my mom getting better lu.

we shall always be grateful of what we have today.

i always remind myself.

we should be grateful of having

-food to eat

-shelter to live on

-clothes to wear on

-education to be taught.

grateful on god of

granting us family members.

granting us friends.

granting us merely acquaintances.

i am grateful.

to be granted such.

we shall be grateful.

we dont know our own lifespan.

do you know yours?

i dont.

we dont know we would live till when.

if bad luck or karma comes,by tomorrow you may not be seeing me sitting here posting this.

that's why when we were alive.

we shall do good deeds.

dont think that other people are commiting sins why not us.

just imagine that you your ownself also commiting sin.

battling competing with each other.

would there be any place peaceful with harmony more?

seriously.

just as what you want peoples' comfort when you are down.,

it goes same to others.

think along this also.

dont you think with adding more good people our this earth would be having more hope.?

less betrayal,less morality,less crime.less social ills.

let us in here be a better one and contribute to this society for a better place to live in.

do not be selfish of not giving .

cheers!

2010-10-31T20:58:00.000+08:00

kyle:pardon me if i said anything wrong in my post.

today as i thought that i would be listening for my undang.and would have a great day as. at night i would be having dinner in one's of my disciple house.

i am taoist for you all info.recently only joint this after my mom joined 2 years ago.

this morning i went to listened for that for merely 5 hours.

thought of tonight could turned out good.

like what others said human planned god decides everything.

it was a very heart breaking moment when my bro urged my mom to quick up her step in making

food as one of the food in the potluck-ing in the disciple house.then only my mom accidently felt down

to the hard rock cement in the kitchen.

caused it was in a mess when she cooked all wet.

the moment she felt over the agar-agar thing follow her and it was all over her body.

just imagine it was a more than a boiling point water splashing on your body.normally if hot water accidently spilt on your finger were like so pain and now.

i was stunned .

dont know what to do.

it's scenes were like the same when i was small being spilt over by an extreme hot water and leaves a scars.

i begin to cry the moment my mom saying that

:you must be good when i dead."

seeing her be in pain made me wanna be in with her together and i was like unable to do anything to help her.

and i called myself a first aider.

i'm ashamed and sad too.

this made me realised to appreciate my mom more.

i just cannot stand the moment she suffered and i am unable to do things for her.

it also made me realised as what my disciples said tou us when she was giving us the talk of consciences.

she said."

"coffin is for death people "

and its meant that coffin fits for death not differentiating whether thy are old or young.

so ,

please start to take up merituous practice for the sake of your

ancestors and your descendant.

and your both parents-your mom that did so much for you all.

if you do good to others eventually people would realised and it influenced them to change too.

this would help that in this world would be lesser people in hatred more with the heart of love.

it do made the difference if you changed 0000.1% do contributed lots to the world.

start practicing on your merituous practice.

lesser argument.lesser hatred .lesser scandalous act.

contribute a better world.

mom,i love you.

you are the best and nothing irreplacable.

2010-10-29T11:10:00.000+08:00

hmm...

for you all.

regine:stay strong ba.i guessed you cant changed anything eventhough they read your post becaused they are so used to their lifestyle.eventually they would shut up when they are tired.but i was trying to say was though you do not have any trust in there but you are still having your awesome friends in ipoh,the trust they had in you.:)

rebecca: its good to get to know that you does not faced any racism there.

but i was curious to know the ending ,probably when you sit down peacefully you would think of a solutions,the answer you wanted. :)

syuen:its good to know you are having a great time.dont give up easily ohi konw you wont this time:)

kyle:a piece of advice.get buck up your maths.can ask me if you dont und.if not you really testing for failure. its hard.with a lil effort made it easier.:)

dont wait for the big hols.becaused if reach that time you wont have time get down to study one surely and more time to be wasted then.

phang:i very hard to talk to you la.sit so far end of the class.dont know what to tell you .

but just a thing.

get down to study.

and will try to control my loudness,a challenge for me.

at times i feel myself like chicken keep busybody-ing on others doing.

anw,that's all for you all la.

im not your boss.but im your friend.

you are all my friends.

either you treat me the same o not its on you.

2010-10-29T11:08:00.000+08:00

hmm...

for you all.

rebecca: its good to get to know that you does not faced any racism there.

but i was curious to know the ending ,probably when you sit down peacefully you would think of a solutions,the answer you wanted. :)

syuen:its good to know you are having a great time.dont give up easily ohi konw you wont this time:)

kyle:a piece of advice.get buck up your maths.can ask me if you dont und.if not you really testing for failure. its hard.with a lil effort made it easier.:)

dont wait for the big hols.becaused if reach that time you wont have time get down to study one surely and more time to be wasted then.

phang:i very hard to talk to you la.sit so far end of the class.dont know what to tell you .

but just a thing.

get down to study.

and will try to control my loudness,a challenge for me.

at times i feel myself like chicken keep busybody-ing on others doing.

anw,that's all for you all la.

im not your boss.but im your friend.

you are all my friends.

either you treat me the same o not its on you.

2010-10-28T15:25:00.000+08:00

hellooo.

i read on one of my long lost friend post recently.

it stated about the trust that she like not having now.

i feel like really give her a tick off.

know why?

becaused she g0t a bunch of friends and clinche

to hangout with each and every time she was back homee ipoh town.

how could she said nobody can give her trust now?

isnt it like they always keep in touch and the sense to be from 3 into one heart isnt easy.

how could she said that?

ungrateful brats.

LOL

still.

lots and loads of homework to cope with.

i need to brush up my maths most crucial.

ahh.

i mau sleep ahh.

but homework prevent me from snoring off.

......

anyway.:D

nothing more important then the moment to get good result and not dissapointing mom.

2010-10-25T16:56:00.000+08:00

as predicted.

i failed my maths test.

this morning my maths teacher,Pn Ratan when she was handing me the paper before it giving me a look.

i was indeed depressed.

real depressed.

i said before dont look so highly upon me right.

see my result?

i believe lailin and chiekuan would be the class top scorer.

i really dont know how to react when i got my paper back.

i was stunned.

i never expect myself to get a better score becaused i knew i hardly did any exercises this test.

stop persuading me of excusing me that i only got the result caused of not doing enough exercise.

i really need somebody to scold me.

but the was unfortunate was.

in my class.

there isnt any one to help.

i know my classmates phang and kyle would be seeing this.

but i will still say.

sigh.

i am really unhappy in this lowest six.

as in people in this class are really realistic in everything.

sigh.

some even scared me off a lil by taking advantage over others.

since when i was n this class,

i watch many things indirectly happening but not telling it out loud.

then i kept on asking myself.

why?why?

why human must be that selfish?

why human must say those offensive words out.

why human must be so competence over everything.

why human must use others people as if them are their tools.

silently.

i feel upset over them.

why must everybody like that.

you can say i am naive but maybe becaused i valued friendship.

i just dont hope to be in a class where people are faking out .

wearing pieces of mask.

why cant they lead their live happily as a school children-teenagers?

this is our last year in having schooling session.

why must they really voice out those offensive words,

offensive which meant those words that actually indirectly words those people meant to

talk/direct it to you but they hinted.

sigh.

i am real exhausted in all this backstabbers and faking out session.

please leave me alone..

that's why i had nobody to talk to and i restricted all this only to myself.

sigh.

i really feel being pressure as when sia those classmates trying to compare marks.

worst was along they commented on the marks also.

i feels as if i must get top student to be friend with them.

many questions spin round and round right now in my head.

sigh.

howw?

my marks were bad. friend that my betray and hurt you at times.family that are too good

afraid of dissapointing them

how?

at times really feel like no more hope.

like the end of everything.

but when thinking of my mother putting all my brother's and sister's hope on me alone.

made me pressure much.lucky.

my mp3 music saved me.

the songs in it like a sort of encouragement to kept me move on.

2010-10-23T12:33:00.000+08:00

its time to updates le.

i got the answer for muet reading and i got 36/45

sigh.

it was so easy the paper and i was like only got 30+

but not 40+

how to score it?

aiyo.

im waiting for my results.

i was afraid of my maths marks.

sia jun bin told me that there's only 6-7 people pass the test.

but i was kind of having a feeling that i wasnt the one passing.

perhaps,safar,neoh,and the top four ba.

sigh.

i am seriously confident that i already failed this test.

sighh.

here.

this the pic that i took yesterday while i watch toys story 3

2010-10-21T15:59:00.000+08:00

one more test to go-MUET.

but two more papers to go.

scared scared.

dont know what marks i would get for this test oiiyoh.

for questions 1 i got band one lea.

she marked till.

sigh.

i got so many grammatical error.

aiiyoo.

how to get a minimun band 4 and a maximun band 5.??

i bet im gonna start correcting my grammatical error......

aiikkss!

2010-10-16T10:39:00.000+08:00

im failing my final exam for sure.

havent prepared enough thoroughly.

even i havent read up some notes.

shit.

wait to die.

stop procrastinating okay moo yoke mei!

sigh.

i knew i would be getting on my results badly .

this is not negative thinking okay.

i just simply need more time to get it thoroughly .

aihh.

what to doo??

i hate myself that kept on procrastinating!

2010-10-15T16:52:00.000+08:00

hellloo.

a short post im posting up.

i already deactivated my facebook account.

maybe in you all account still got my account as im off-ing it temporarily only.

so yeas.

exam is around corner.

sigh.

i got so stressed up of studying business with all words.

feeling like tearing up the book already.

but still im gonna study till next year.

not even a sub chapter i got to finish studying.

sigh how to pass my exam.

my mom says

her favourites quotes.

"watch some more online somemore, later your results dont let me to see"

watch movies somemore you dont need go tuittion gea la.

dont need go takemoney from me to buy books.

i was like.

aihh.

if you know i was so stressed up with the books.

to be exact frank.

im still not used to smi lifestyles.

dont think or look i was so cheerful but nobody knows.

and god knows.

p/s:hope when i was emo-ing(thinking something actually) please dont dont provoke or evoke me to joke.

or else instead of jokes a 101boiling point was shown.

its only im thinking la.

figuring out something.

so dont ever provoke me to jokes along

at school or anywhere.

its raining..

2010-10-05T17:08:00.000+08:00

i am seriously today no mood go ttn.

i am tired of today.

sigh.

i should not be like that .

i should work harded la.

deyy!

aihh.

what to do.

i am really tired.

but was afraid to slp.

becaused i am really tired.

hey.

but im not only tired but also lazyy!!

soo howw??

aiiks!

whose fault?

2010-10-02T10:25:00.000+08:00

hello ..

yesterday i broke into argument with a male friend of mine.

know why?

caused he had uploaded an edited picture of me and a boy into facebook.

its not a normal picture.

its was edited by another male friends stating in the pic.

love story.

and its like showing me and him got relationship but actually no.

so.

it was uploaded.

then i got angry of him becaused he never ask me anything and uploaded it.

the comments of it was really unpleasant .

not good thing at least.

saying me like im not good.

real sad.

but unlucky one was.

the person that uploaded it dont get what i feel.

dont und me as still think he was right.

how could he upload stuff without thinking what i would feel.

2010-09-18T22:08:00.002+08:00

helloooo..

i was kind of upset again..

know why?

aih..

the moment i log in to my facebook account

i saw outing pictures.

i saw them with a big smilee.

and i asked myself.

did i did anything wrong till they like dont wanna even say hi?

i was upset that by right the friendship could be lasted but now?

sigh.

i couldnt blame them.

all i would blame is only myself.

blaming my fault.

blaming where i did wrongyet i dont know where my wrong..

i was upset that the moment i log in i saw so many people were tagging

with their hangout photos but i have none?

its so upsetting..

at times i could not hangout is becaused i really need financial aid.

here i talk about is again money & money..

seriously all in this world is about the money..

and talking about this more

i doesnt want my mom to give out more money for entertainment sort.

aihh.

i am real upset.

but nvm la.

i study harder and work harder all what i want also would be realised.

today is my brother younger brother's funeral.

i went and attend his funeral.

and it is very depressing caused his son was only 9 years old and his wife look old and weak and thin.

it is very saddening for a woman to take care the child but i believe she would stay strong

and even his son is very obedient.

i get to talk with his son.

and i praised him too for being a good kid and my sister

told him to follow what his mom say and he nodd his head.

this is saddening...

as at the young age he gonna to bear the responsibility up and yet havent get to enjoy his childhood yet..

sighh..

may HE rest in peace.

---------------------------------------------------------

still..

its time to start and switch my mode into study mode as school gonna reopen soon.

may all the bad thing being washed away.

and the good thing coming on the way and help to spread to people that was in need..

gogogooo!!!

jia you laa..
smileee!!~~~

upset over sister.....

2010-09-17T10:21:00.001+08:00

hellooooo..

i was kind of upset that there is this friends that i treat her as a sisiter

and now she was back to ipoh.

from other country...

i was upset.

that she already lost contacts with me.

well.

i does not request for anything.

but it seems that i wanted to contact with her and she like dont wanna contact with me jor.

so i was kind of upset la.

but still.

i dont need to have this type of friends le la.

i felt like being pushed around.

so thats why i dont like this feeling..

i was kind of upsets that.

she had her ownself promised but now she was the one broke the promise.

so still.

i figured out that alot of them already find new friends or lost contacts.

perhaps i did not always join them in their outings thats why im landed up in here?

i dont know but still.

i m glad that i got few true friend with me still.

....

2010-09-15T11:34:00.002+08:00

hellooo everybodddyyy!!!

outsides my house now got tik tik tak tak sound.

and it is actually raining.

LOL

know what the first thing i did when i opened my eyes?

not brush teeths.

not have breakfast.

go watch cant buy me love.

tvb drama wo.

LOL

now only online.

havent eat breakfast err.

dont know what to eat also.

aiyo.

it is only a normal post la.

after posting gotta go do maths or muet le.

if not teachers gonna strangle me when school reopens soon.

and i found out i got so many things havent finished..

T.T

okaylaa.

tata!~~

i sound happy because today rains!!

2010-09-13T10:20:00.006+08:00

in this hols everybody got go anywhere??

i was lucky that i got 2 weeks holidays.

in this holidays.

what i did.

i worked for the last week.

and and.

i went to temple.

to register my name in heaven future when i breathed my last in earth.

as my mom and brother had register in it.

let me tell you more on this.

to be frank i was actually had doubted like what you all think now.

thinking that how ridiculous and absurd it could be right

as what you all think that it is impossible to like write your name

or register your name in heaven and erase your name in hell.

i was also first been thinking like that.

i had been thinking that whether if i register already do i would like

being forced to come and abandon family.

being forced to donate money.

being influenced.

well.

there is this the biggest event of the temple.

i dont know what words to use so i used temple.

its actually in a house a big house in which we gather to listen to

the principles of life.

the sense of life.

this event was held in 3 days.

they let us to think carefully on joining and register this .

becaused after we register our names we should.

do this 3 good things.

(3 "hou")

which is

-do good things

-spread good heart

-speak good things

you may say that all this we could practice it out but why must join only

can do it.

i must say that we yes can do it.

but unfortunately was we all of us got still a bad heart.

as in bad qualities.

sometimes we did not realised ours bad qualities.

we may have:

-jealousness

-steal money habits

-drink

-gambling

-smoking

-temper most crucial

-unfilial to parents.

i dropped into tears when i sit and listen on filial lesson.

filial to parents.

though i always aprreciated on my both parents

grateful to them.

but i have been not filial

as i like to always to snapped back on my parents words.

i knew it is not filial.

i kept on cry and cry and cry on flashing back what

i had done in the past on my parents.

listening to the filial lesson we had nearly everybody in the hall dropped into tears.

as the man and boys and even the seniors from taiwan the one that is giving talk also cried.

we all cried.

cried as we think that we are all right.

we no wrong.

but actually we are very wrong.

from the very seconds that we shop without thinking on them whether

they wanna shop along anot.

how hurt would they be.

from the very seconds we snapped on them thinking that we are always right.

how pain would their heart be.

the moment we was been giving birth from

after everything they had done for us.

how could we forget everything.

hurt ourselves.

snapped on them.

backstabbed them.

look down on them.

eat every good things and left the bad one for them.

they were the one to help us cover all the trouble we had created for them.

ask money from,as there is a seniors speaker that said.we ask money also would want them to be so wilingly give us.

ask money also want them to so wiling to give us if not all the temper would appear but we were the one that ask money. why should they like pretend to give us wilingly?

becaused they love us.

but has we ever say thank you to them.

dont ever think that a lil thank you would be very embarassing.

becaused a lil thankyou could coloured the dayof theirs.

they would be very happy.

i knew a girl that is younger than me 2 years.

she dropped into tears when i ask her to follow me to go up the stage to say what we think after all the lesson .

i cried.but i managed to say out i wanna to be filial to my parents.

and she cried till cant contoll.

infront of everybody.

i dont feel been so embarassed becaused we are all sisters and brother.

those that go up stage and say their feelings out .

all also couldnt stand and they finally broke onto tears while saying.

and we also cried.

i felt so good caused i dont need to face the harsh of reality.

dont have so many problem.

to all of you all.

i do hope you would join along .

and also reminiscing on our done of the past to our parents.

and also god the second mother that give us spirit to be able to think as a human in human body.

thank youu mom and dad!!

the Journal of life!

Motivated!

Life still goes on. :)

The me. :)

CNY MOODIES!~

faking blood.:D

Great teachers.

Because you and me. :)

you're beautiful korean drama! (MUST WATCH)

The coming year!2011!!

I dropped down to tears again.

happpieeeeeeee!!!!

i am so lucky!

mentally stable.

god only help those who help themself

neutral!

kuan shu (forgiveness)- shen mu yu tong!

smile!

Life oh life.

The elastic side of me.

Love the way you lie w/ lyrics - Eminem ft. Rihanna

Airplanes w/ lyrics - B.O.B ft Hayley Williams and Eminem

Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna

戴佩妮 - 小小

老师吃不饱 / 电影《白蚂蚁》插曲

电影《白蚂蚁 〉预告片

emotional deppression.

its raining..

whose fault?

upset over sister.....

....

电影《白蚂蚁〉预告片